After 21 years of writing and hiding notes for my oldest daughter, I was blessed to be the recipient of HER notes the other day. I found them when I was having a tough time. And oh my, it is truly uplifting, affirming and just plain lovely!!!!Who wouldn’t want someone to take the time to write a few nice things about you and then hide them for you to find?How would it change your day to find a note like this, encouraging you, appreciating you, inspiring you?Since it is Valentine’s Day, I encourage you to BE the LOVE around you. Perhaps today is the day that you could leave some love notes for the people in your life to find?!?! Simple, cheap, and leaves a HUGE impact!
This is Dan. I had the pleasure of meeting him at my hotel this morning during breakfast. I was sitting alone, messing around on my phone, when Dan came up to me and offered me $1 to use my phone to call his mom. He said he was cold and hungry. As I was trying to understand the situation, the hotel staff quickly came up and tried to shoo Dan away. Once I realized what was going on, I told the hotel staff that Dan was with me and all was fine. I invited him to sit down at my table and have some breakfast with me and tried to ignore the disapproving glances of the other guests all around me. I handed him my phone to call his mom and set about fixing him a few plates of food.
Then I tried to share some unconditional love with Dan. I tried to talk with him as I would talk with any friend. I listened to his stories. Dan shared with me that he was an adoptee (before I even told him my own adoption story, how cool is that?) and that he was placed with his adopted family when he was 3 days old. He said he figured his mom was “a hot mom” and that is why she gave him up. He said his adopted family does not like him and that he can’t live with them. He also told me he had just come from Florida to Green Bay two days ago because he thought he could live in his family’s garage here (I’m in Green Bay for my uncle’s funeral). Unfortunately, he was kicked out of there as well and now said he had nowhere to go. When I asked him where he had been previous to Florida, he said he couldn’t remember. It was clear to me after speaking with Dan for awhile, that he probably had some psychological problems. He seemed to have some irrational fears that people in fast food places where trying to poison other people, and things of this nature.
My heart breaks for Dan and all the other lost souls like him in the world. They are in need of love, just like anyone else. They are in need of understanding, just like anyone else. They are in need of support, probably more than most people, because of his underlying mental conditions. Yet, they are pushed out of our homes. They are pushed out of our establishments. They are sometimes even pushed out of our churches. It is such a shame. We could all be Dan one day. We could all be the person in need one day. We should take care of our neighbors as we would want others to take care of us.
The Bible tells a parable of the Good Samaritan, a story we should all take to heart.
Luke 10:25-37New International Version (NIV)
The Parable of the Good Samaritan
25 On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. “Teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?”
26 “What is written in the Law?” he replied. “How do you read it?”
27 He answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.”
28 “You have answered correctly,” Jesus replied. “Do this and you will live.”
29 But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?”
30 In reply Jesus said: “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he was attacked by robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. 31 A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. 32 So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. 33 But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. 34 He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, brought him to an inn and took care of him. 35 The next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper. ‘Look after him,’ he said, ‘and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.’
36 “Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?”
37 The expert in the law replied, “The one who had mercy on him.”
Jesus told him, “Go and do likewise.”
There are many references to being a good neighbor in the Bible. Jesus tells us that we should treat ALL people with respect.
Matthew 25:35-40New International Version (NIV)
35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’
37 “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’
40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’
For we never know who we are truly entertaining…
Hebrews 13:1-3 New International Version (NIV)
13 Keep on loving one another as brothers and sisters. 2 Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it. 3 Continue to remember those in prison as if you were together with them in prison, and those who are mistreated as if you yourselves were suffering.
As Dan and I were talking, he said to me that he didn’t think he would ever be in love. This was my entry point to trying to share a bit of the gospel with him. I shared with him my view that people in our society get the definition of love wrong. They think that love is that gooey feeling you get for someone, instead of an action that we do. I shared with him that Jesus is the model of true love, unconditional love, that He laid down his life for us because THAT is what true love looks like. It is not a feeling, but an action (in my humble opinion). I tried to share that unconditional love with Dan this morning. And I told him that it was not me, but an extension of God’s love pouring out of me.
Then just as fast as Dan came to my table, he said he was getting his things and disappeared…I can’t get him out of my mind. I thought he was getting his things and coming back to my table, but he was gone. I wanted to get him a new pair of gloves, but I couldn’t find him. So now I pray for Dan, and all those like Dan in the world. The people that are seen as the “throw-away” people of our society.
It’s interesting because just yesterday a fellow blogger (also a Dan!) told his story of coming upon someone like the Dan I met today in his own life. You can view his story here: and subscribe to his awesome youtube channel to get more encouraging videos like this one below!
So as fellow blogger Dan also said in his video, I say here——-I tell this story NOT to pat myself on the back— ALL THE GLORY TO GOD— but to encourage others to be the Good Samaritan to the broken, the poor, the “throw-away” people of this world.
Do unto others as you would have them do for you.
(Luke 6:31, Matthew 7:12, Leviticus 19:18, James 2:8, Galatians 5:14, Romans 13:9-10, )
Grandma Mary (or Gigi as her great grandchildren called her) was a second mother to me. Growing up she lived right around the corner from me, and if I wasn’t at home I was at Grandma’s. I was always walking around the corner to her house to get some good food and spoiling like only a Grandma can give.
When I think of Grandma Mary, I think about selfless love. She loved EVERYONE and was always happy to help anyone out. She didn’t have a mean bone in her entire 4 foot 8 inch body. I can honestly say that I do not have one memory of my grandmother raising her voice…ever! Even when all seven of us grandchildren had to have been driving her crazy!
She was always happy to serve others, especially her family, in a selfless act of love. It made her genuinely happy to cook and bake for others, and that was her true gift. She was always up late at night, waiting for her pie to cook, or her bread to finish baking, sitting in her favorite rocking recliner, saying her rosary, which she faithfully said three times per day. She was never one to go to sleep early as there was always something for her to do! She was a self-professed night owl, and the grandkids loved that about Grandma. We never had to go to bed early when we slept at grandma’s house, and we always knew Grandma would order us pizza and let us eat candy into the night.
Sundays were the most special day for Grandma, as she carried on her Italian mother’s tradition of Sunday spaghetti dinner. I remember these family gathering times vividly as a child, as they are some of the fondest memories of Grandma’s. Walking into her house to find my cousins, the smell of spaghetti sauce and fresh baked apple pie, wondering who was already at the house and who was yet to come, the sounds of kids playing, adults laughing and talking, and inevitably the piano being played. Kool-aid and lemonade were the drinks of choice and dinner was spaghetti, meatballs, pork and salad. Sometimes, when we were really lucky, homemade raviolis or gnocchi (gnoches as Grandma called them) took the place of the spaghetti. We would hardly finish our dinner when Grandma would be telling us to eat more, or trying to get us to eat multiple desserts. Everyone was always too skinny for Grandma and no one ever ate enough to satisfy her.
Grandma liked traditions and she carried on other traditions from her mother as well. Who could forget the Easter dolls? Even the older grandchildren would beg for them, and then as adults we would gobble up the ones Gram would give to our own kids that were too young to enjoy them. Or how about her famous crustells, or “crystals” as the grandkids called them, an Italian potato dumpling fried and rolled in sugar. I remember her making those many late nights, on a random request, for anyone. Or pizzelles, an Italian waffle cookie that Grandma called “chumbells”. She would make those chumbells on an old cast iron set that was her mothers. She could barely lift it to turn it over on the stove! And of course, the other request from her grandchildren – homemade french fries. I blame Grandma for my deep affinity for homemade french fries! Again, it didn’t matter what time it was, midnight or later, all you had to do was ask.
That was pretty much true for anything with Grandma…all you had to do was ask and she would always give whatever she had to anyone. She may have been short in stature, but she towered over with Love. Her example of unconditional love is one we can all follow.
I believe that anyone who knew Grandma Mary would only have lovely things to say about her. She was truly an amazing woman. She always wore a dress, she never drank, never smoked, never swore, she never even raised her voice. She was a peacemaker. She had one photo of herself in her gym shorts and said that was on a dare from her younger sister, and this was probably the most racy thing from her past. She was the sweetest, kindest person, who was loving towards everyone! She served others selflessly. She loved with action!
I can think of so many ways that she touched the hearts of those around her, and I cherish these memories. She will always remain close in my heart. Forever. I always think of Grandma’s Love when I read 1 Corinthians 13, because this is the type of love that she exemplified…
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
Grandma Mary didn’t have much money, she never worked outside her home, she never even left the Upper Peninsula of Michigan, but what she DID have was faith, hope, and an overabundance of Love that she gave freely to anyone and everyone.
We can all learn a little from Grandma on how to love the way God asks us to. This was Grandma’s greatest gift of all, one that keeps on giving, LOVE…
You are you and so what if you are not “normal”. What is normal anyway? If everyone was normal everyone would be the same.So it’s ok if you are not normal. You are you and God made you unique. He gave you good things and bad things. It does not matter if you are short or tall, smart or dumb, strong or weak. God made you special. Don’t try to change that. And everyone, yes EVERYONE, has a purpose. If something bad happens to you, later you might find out that it helped you. So yes, everything good and bad has a purpose in God’s plan for you.
Photo Credit: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/462463455455179789/
This is my ten year old checking out my different blog stats. He discovered and showed me something new today– how to find my “all time” stats. I thought I could only view them by year or day. Thanks, kiddo!
As you may already know, we are participating in the Amazing Around the Worldpress Race created by Cyranny at Cyranny’s Cove. We are trying to send Mr. Owl of #TeamOwl to as many countries as possible. Our all time stats, that my smartie pants found for me, indicates this blog has touched the fingers of people across 77 different countries overall!
My smartie pants checked the stats for yesterday’s blog post introducing our race and discovered we had readers from the US, Philippines, Turkey, India, Latvia, Canada, Germany, Argentina, Ghana, Switzerland and Romania.
How cool is that?
The power of the internet to take our large world and bring it to the fingertips of each other is fascinating.
There is plenty of time as we begin this journey with #TeamOwl to join in and share your country with my kiddos!!! Just drop a comment or leave a message on my contact form. We are all excited for the journey Mr. Owl is about to embark on.
So far Mr. Owl of #TeamOwl has reached two countries
- 1. Canada
- 2. USA
Tomorrow he embarks on a long journey to
- 3. Latvia
- 4. China
- 5. Switzerland
Who is going to be our next countries? Could it be YOU?!?! Please join us!
Hello friends! We have been invited to join in an amazing “Around the Worldpress” race with fellow blogger at Cyranny’s Cove. She made these fun little critters and thought up a race to see who could get their critter to travel more miles/kilometers around the world. Being a homeschooling mom with children who are fascinated by my blog’s stats, especially the ones showing all the countries where I have readers, (THANK YOU AMAZING READERS!) I thought this would be a fun project to include the kids on to see how far we can get #TeamOwl to travel. (You can see Mr. Owl in the photo below!)
#TeamOwl originally came to us from Montreal, Canada to Michigan, USA. I know the overall point is total miles/kilometers, but I would like to twist it to see how many actual different countries we can hit. The children and I are are going to pin a world map with every country we can send #TeamOwl to, and learn some facts about each country #TeamOwl visits. So far, we have #1. Canada #2. USA. Next stop up is #3 Latvia. Could you be next?
Would you be willing to play a part in our Around the Worldpress Amazing Race, or know someone who would?
It is quite simple. Here’s the lowdown:
- Send me your address (or the address of your friend/family member who has already agreed) in my contact page (this will keep it private).
- I will send #TeamOwl to YOUR country (or the country of a family/friend who has agreed to join in).
- Once #TeamOwl has arrived, please visit this link and let us know, as well as Cyranny’s Cove, who is logging all the miles.
- If you are SUPER DUPER cool, take a photo or two or three with #TeamOwl in your country and send them to my email and/or a few facts about your country and I will include them on my blog posts.
- I will write a blog post every time #TeamOwl travels to a new country and will include your photos (if you allow), facts, and if you are a fellow blogger, I will link to your site also.
I am very excited to start this project with the kiddos. Maybe #TeamOwl will travel the world. Maybe he will only visit a country or two…it’s all up to you my friends. All it takes is a few minutes of your time, and the cost of a postage stamp (#TeamOwl is very small and very light).
If you are IN – then comment, send me your address, and LET THE RACE BEGIN! 🙂 (we are already quite behind since we were gone to Latvia…here are some of the critters on the move already!
#TeamDonkey otherwise known as “jack”
#TeamMonkey otherwise known as “moe”
And again, to follow the race, visit Cyranny’s Cover link here, which is following them all by map!
I want to thank all my readers out there! It is amazing to me see how many different countries my blog touches. It is inspiring. Help me share that inspiration of how big our world really is with my kiddos, and come join in some fun with us for the cost of postage stamp! 🙂
Of course, Dear Lord, Your ways are not my ways. Your thoughts are not my thoughts. Some things are left a mystery until the end.
Sometimes I cannot see, or even begin to understand, the why of a certain situation. I could drive myself crazy trying to figure it all out.
Luckily, I don’t have to. Because I have YOU to trust in. You to hold me. You to comfort me. You to guide me.
If I would only always remember to turn to You first. So quickly I forget. Every decision first to You. How fast I am to grumble, complain and cry out!
Forgive me Lord, when I close my fists instead of opening them in thanksgiving for all you have done for me. All for good. No matter if I see it that way or not right now.
Always You are faithful. Always You work for the good of those who love You, who have been called according to Your purpose. Thank you, Father.
And when I forget, forgive me. When I forget the power of the Holy Spirit, Mighty Counselor, lives in me.
How can I forget? How can I not listen? He is right here, always guiding, probing, directing.
It is ME who does not listen. It is me who denies. Me who questions. Me who ignores. Forgive me.
Help me to always trust.
Always depend on.
Thank you, Father, for everything. The good and the bad that are molding me into who You want me to be. Help me to turn to You at the mountaintops and in the valleys. You are always there working it all for my good.
Today, I am holding tightly to Your promises, Lord. I am clinging to Your truths. Not what the world tells me. Not what my friends tell me. Not what I tell myself. But Your truths, Lord.
When I have had a rough day. When my kids are throwing tantrums. When I have to drag seven children to the grocery store. When my teen is ignoring me. When my husband is working long hours and I am so, so exhausted, it is easy to forget how much I am loved by my Father. My father who understands, who cares, who wants to comfort me like no-one else can. My good Father, who encourages me to crawl up in His lap for awhile and find my peace in Him.
I remind myself that I am not exempt from pain just because I am a Christian. Quite the opposite, actually. (John 16:33) Jesus himself warned us that in this world we will have troubles. Not maybe. Not if you’re not following the rules. Not if you’re not a good enough person. No- everyone. You WILL have troubles. It’s pretty clear.
The catch is that we are called to respond in ways other than the world would. We are called to put our faith before our fear. We are called to bear all things. We are called to allow God control in our lives.
When we allow this, we can accept His promises. We can accept His grace, love and mercy. We can allow Him to heal, comfort and restore. He takes the broken things and lets His light shine through the cracks, so brightly, that it’s undeniably Him at work.
So as I’m going through my day and I don’t understand what God’s plan is, I trust. When I feel like my heart is being ripped from my chest, I trust. I hold tightly to His promises. I trust in Him to make all things beautiful in the end. Where it matters. Where He can see and I can’t.
Thy will be done.
As I prepare to leave tomorrow to Latvia to finalize the immigration process for my kiddos, I thought it would be fun to take a look back at our experience after the first two (of four) hostings. I know many people wonder what that looks like. Well–wonder no more, here you go!!!
Tiny Green Elephants did a “Look into Orphan Hosting” post highlighting our family’s hosting experience.
- What made you want to host an orphan and how did your family feel?
I have always had a soft spot in my heart for those who don’t have a home. Growing up my parents were an excellent example of unconditional love. As a child, we always had someone living with us, usually one of my older brother’s friends who had been kicked out of their house for whatever reason. My mom’s heart had no boundaries and she would take in whoever needed a loving home.
My husband and I would often talk about our desire to adopt. Over the past few years we began opening our own home to others. It began when a dear friend of mine needed respite care for a boy from Burkina Faso they were hosting on a medical mission. After this, we took in my daughter’s friend who had been kicked out of his parent’s and grandparent’s house, and was six months shy of graduating from high school. He stayed until he successfully graduated high school and got a job. From there we took in my 20 year old niece who stayed with us a year and gained her driver’s license for the first time, got her first job and first apartment. Most recently, we opened our home two different times to adult friends who were struggling. We said goodbye to the second friend just days before our host boys arrived. We truly feel that GOD led each and every one of these people into our lives, just as we believe that GOD has led us to this specific group of children.
I remember the day I saw a post about the P143 hosting program, and the more I read, the more I felt led that this was what we were supposed to do.
I sat with my oldest boy, looking though the photo listings of children. We came upon a group of five siblings. The oldest was in the back with his arms stretched around the large group. The listing said that the director called it a milestone that the oldest agreed to talk to the interview team about hosting, and that he was a good boy, in need of healing, who had been in the caretaker position for too long. That was evident to me from this photo. That young boy had the weight of the world on his shoulders trying to keep his siblings together and safe. That struck a chord deep in my heart, and I kept thinking to myself, “here’s this boy, finally brave enough to try hosting, and he’s unlikely to get chosen because he’s in a group of five.” I also noticed a sweet, playful, slightly mischievous looking littlest boy in the picture who reminded me of my own “joyful” child. I prayed, and I was convicted that these children were the ones.
My children were immediately on board, but I knew it was going to be a stretch for my husband. I was honestly surprised that my husband, after thoughtful consideration and prayer, agreed. In a way I thought there was no way he would agree to this. So to me, the fact that he did, was a sign from God that this was the right thing to do.
As for the rest of our extended family and friends, it was a slower process. We fielded a lot of questions about why we would spend so much money on children we didn’t know, wouldn’t it be mean to bring these children into our homes and then send them back to an orphanage, how would we communicate with them since they didn’t speak English, what about the safety of our own children, etc. We always brought these concerns to God and He continued to calm our hearts and our fears, and comforted us that we were on the right path.
- What were your feelings and preparations before you Hosted?
Before we hosted I had a lot of excitement and anticipation of their arrival. I couldn’t wait! Yet at the same time, I had moments of “WHAT AM I DOING?!” Those were usually the times when my own three boys were driving me bonkers and I would let fear take over and convince me that I couldn’t possibly handle three more boys. (however, through this process, I have learned that fear is a liar!)
There were a lot of preparations. We had to set up our guest room with three twin beds and come up with clothing for three more boys, of which I wasn’t sure exactly what size they would be. Friends were awesome and the hand-me-downs poured in. The only things we really ended up buying were beds, socks, underwear, and shoes! I also began studying the culture and learning some of the language of the country.
- Share with us some of your hosting experiences, what was it like day-to-day. What stands out to you as really special.
I remembered the advice to live your life normally (as possible) during your hosting period. The point was to immerse these children into a loving, home environment, not fill their every waking moment with extravagant vacations and trips to the toy store. Perhaps also because we were adoption minded, we truly tried to allow them to join our family as it is, in all its imperfections, and all its day-to-day delights.
It. Was. Awesome!
Our day-to-day experiences were pretty normal, just amplified times three boys. What does that mean?
Well, it was louder, and dirtier, and, um, stinkier. But we also had more smiles, more shouts of glee, and more joy. Ohhh and bandaids, we went through a lot of band-aids.
The bedtime routines stand out to me as the most special. The boys clearly loved this special time of gathering together as a family at the end of the night, praying together, bedtime hugs and snuggles, and being tucked in at night. They quickly began to pray with us, and the prayers they would pray touched my heart deeply. Things like, “thank you God for mom and dad who loves ALL boys”.
I asked one of the boys during the second hosting trip what their favorite part of coming to the US was, and I was pleasantly surprised with his answer. It wasn’t what one might expect from a child (playing with new toys, getting Christmas presents, etc.) It was this–
“Prayers. We don’t pray at orphanage. Here we pray with food and bedtime. I like. And hugs and kisses goodnight. No hugs and kisses goodnight at orphanage. Never. Here-always.”
Breaks. My. Heart. That’s what these children wanted and needed and appreciated.
4. What were some of the highlights of hosting? Why? What were some of the hard parts?
Beyond what I described above, another highlight for me was when the oldest, 12 years old, began calling me mom. The younger two started that right away (even though we didn’t introduce ourselves with that) they seemed to follow suit with our own children, but it took the older one a bit to let his guard down.
The language barrier was difficult, especially at first. We craved to have long, deep conversations with them; that was just impossible to do in the beginning. However, I must point out how truly fast children pick up another language.
Between trips their English skills exploded. By trip two, we didn’t need google translate and we felt that we were able to carry on conversations using simple English. The hardest part of the language barrier remained that we had three siblings who all spoke this other language better than us, so when they would argue it was too much, too fast, for us to be able to understand what was being said.
Then, of course, the very hardest part is saying good-bye to these children that we had fallen in love with, worrying about them while they are away, and trying to parent them from a distance.
5. How has hosting changed your life? Or the life of your hosted child?
Hosting has absolutely changed my life. I quickly found that WE were the ones changing for the better, that WE were being blessed beyond measure from knowing and loving these boys. We became LESS SELFISH. We became MORE PATIENT. We became MORE LOVING. We were more conscious that the words coming out of our mouths reflected light.
Was it easy? NO. Was it loud? YES. Was it worth it?
For all the work that it takes to raise six boys every day, we also enjoyed some of the most PEACEFUL, JOYOUS, and LOVING moments of our lives!
We have decided to adopt the three boys…and their two sisters who were too young to be hosted, to keep them all together and bring them into a forever home filled with love for them, kisses, prayers and the ability to be kids. The two sisters who we have yet to meet (and have been separated from their brothers since they were moved to foster care shortly before the boys came to the US the first time), we hope to reunite together with their brothers in a forever family of love.
I can’t wait for that day!
And I honestly believe that even if we weren’t adoption minded, that we would have changed the lives of those three boys for better by showing them the love of Jesus and by immersing them in a loving household during their hosting trips.
That was what it said. Right there in black in white. The words were unmistakable.
No special talents or abilities.
Not one good quality could be brainstormed to write for her on this Referral Letter for adoption.
But I knew differently. I knew that was a lie. I knew that she had love, motivation, and independence unknown to most little seven year old girls, especially ones who had seen and endured all that she had in her short time on earth.
I knew she could clean up and rediaper a soiled baby, for she had told me how often she cared for one. I knew she was eager to help with any and all household chores and she worked diligently. I knew she was the first person who would run to help clean up a mess that she didn’t even make. I knew that her strong compassion for others meant that if someone was crying, she would be there to hug them. I knew she had a knack for languages and was quickly picking up a new one. I knew she could outrun some of her brothers and had determination and grit in learning new skills such as ice skating, that rivaled the boys.
Those are only a brief listing of the talents and abilities I learned from a mere four weeks with this young child. How could this adoption referral not recognize her talents? How could this adoption referral not recognize her abilities? How could it be that in her seven years not one positive thing could be shared about this lovely girl?
The other night I watched the movie “Noah” for the first time. There is a part towards the end of the movie where Noah is talking to Ila, a girl they had found alive amidst her burning, pillaged village where everyone else laid dead. They took Ila in and raised her as their daughter.
Noah says to Ila, “When we took you in I thought you would be burden. But I was wrong. You are a gift. Never forget that.”
And I burst into tears. Yes.
Yes, my sweetheart, you ARE a gift.
You ARE valuable.
I see your talents and abilities and I celebrate them with you.
Thank you, Lord, for the beautiful gifts you have given me in these sweet children of Yours. AMEN!
When no one else cares, You always do.
When no one else will comfort, You are there.
When no one else strengthens, You are there to lift up.
When no one else listens, Your ears are always yearning to hear.
When no one else is offering help, You are there carrying me along.
When everything else fades away, Your love and promises remain eternally.
As we start the New Year, I reflect back on where I was a year ago.
We had just finished our fourth hosting through P143 (Project 143 Orphan Hosting Program) and this hosting period was the first time we met our two little girls. It was also the first time they were reunited with their three, big, biological brothers. The boys remained in the orphanage when a foster family was finally found for the girls, and they hadn’t seen each other in years. Needless to say, tensions ran high and expectations ran even higher.
This picture about sums up how I felt. I was trying desperately to hang on, to be happy and to find the joy and blessings. However, in reality I felt pushed to the ground. Overwhelmed by children. Overwhelmed from the newness of having little girls in the house, after having only little boys for so long. Those high-pitched screams and the WHINING! Ohhh I was NOT prepared for the onslaught of whining that commenced with their arrival. And those were just the surface things. Then there was the overwhelming fact that they knew zero English and were accustomed to fighting it out with their foster siblings. We had a lot of hitting and scratching and temper tantrums.
But the hardest part, and this is difficult for me to admit because I feel so much guilt over it, was their desperate desire to be loved by me. To be cuddled by me. To be held by me. To be adored by me. For me to give them my undivided attention. It was quickly overwhelming to be giving that much attention and physical contact to two children while maintaining a household and tending to six other children. And I wasn’t expecting that. I wasn’t expecting to feel “over loved”– is there such a word? I felt over touched. I felt over talked to. I felt over climbed on. My senses were on overload. Everything was louder, took longer, required more effort and organization than previously, and I was just downright EXHAUSTED.
It was hard.
I felt like a failure.
I felt guilty that I was struggling with these things.
Was I a terrible mom because I saw that same child coming for the 100th hug in the last hour, despite the fact that I am arm deep in toilet bowl cleaner. He doesn’t care in the least, but I am deeply annoyed.
As we began to draw near to their departure date I began to look forward to it a little bit. Bedtime would be so much easier. No more high-pitched whines. No more fighting. My husband and I were leaning towards believing that this was not going to work for our family.
We felt defeated.
We were ready to give up.
It is SO much easier to give up then to persevere. It is SO much easier to give up then to endure. It is SO much easier to give up then to bear another’s burdens.
But we aren’t called to live an easy life. We were warned there would be trials. We were asked to pick up our cross and follow Him. We were told that we would only make it by abiding in Him. Apart from Him we can do nothing. With Him, nothing is impossible.
And what does “perseverance” mean? Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines perseverance as “continued effort to do or achieve something despite difficulties, failure, or opposition”.
Did you catch that?
DESPITE difficulties, failure or opposition. As in to persevere you must first be faced with difficulties, failure or opposition.
So if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.
Don’t give up.
Abide in Him.
Run the race.
Because you know what? It DOES get easier. He does help me when I turn to Him. He does strengthen me when I pray to Him. Time allows for so many things to work themselves out. The girls are absolutely fluent in English. It took them less than five months time to go from zero English to fluent. Amazing! And those tantrums? Yes, we still have some every now and then, but they are radically different from what they were a year ago. They are now identifiable. They are understandable. They are manageable. They are almost gone completely. Amazing!
And I sit here typing this embarrassed at myself that we almost did give up. That’s the truth right there. We almost let all the fears and worries of the world get the better of us, then trusting what God was telling us all along.
Abide in me.
I will provide all you need.
I don’t know what your mountain is today, my friend. I don’t know what you are staring down this year and wondering how you will ever make it to the next. But know that I understand that feeling. I felt hopeless this time last year, and I really couldn’t see past it without a huge amount of God’s help. So I am here to encourage you to reach out to Him. Stay close to Him. Abide in Him. And He will take you through this year to the next. I am living proof of it.
“How do you do it?”
This is probably the question that is asked the most.
“How do you decide to adopt five siblings all at once?”
My only true answer is, “by the grace of God.” God is orchestrating this story, not us. We are only trying to obey in this crazy journey of love. Selfless love. Love as a verb. Agape.
How? How did I end up writing this story? When did buying bananas three bunches at a time become normal? I almost forget that just a short time ago this would have seemed absurd had someone told me that I would be doing these things today.
But as I reflect, if someone had told me 10 years ago that an unknown janitor would lead me, a die-hard atheist, back to church, and that I would come to believe with all my heart that the Lord Almighty is the creator of Heaven and Earth, and that I myself, by the grace of God, would be given the gift of the Holy Spirit driving my heart for His Kingdom, I would have thought they were crazy! When did it become possible that I would be thought worthy enough to be called a Child of God, much less a mother to nine children? How did this happen? But isn’t that how journeys are? Hindsight is always 20/20. At the start of a new journey you can’t see where the road will end. You don’t even realize the lessons you are learning until you look back.
As I look back, I see the lessons that I am learning that surround this Greek word, “agape”. Agape is defined as “selfless, sacrificial, unconditional love, the highest of the four types of love in the Bible.” As John tells us in 1 John 4:8b: God is love. It’s as simple and as hard as that. God is love. We are called to love. We are called to agape. And agape has nothing to do with emotion. It’s not the warm, fuzzy feeling you have for your loved one (although that can accompany it). It is a deliberate action. It is a choice. It is a principle we try to live our lives around. Selfless love in action.
Whatever gift you have been given, use it. Whatever talents you have, employ them. Whatever you have been blessed with, use it to bless others. Do your part. Live with purpose. Love deliberately. Take a leap of faith! Stretch yourself! TRUST GOD! Know that God is with you. He will never leave you nor forsake you.
For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline. -2 Timothy 1:7
Stretch yourself and give thanks in all things, ALL things, the good and the bad. It is often through suffering that we are shaped and molded into who God is calling us to be. This process is not always easy. It asks us to move beyond our comfort zone.
Is this achieved by living in our own little bubble, predictable and perfectly planned, safe, isolated and surrounded by others who think and act exactly as we do? Or are we more like Christ when we are asked to stretch ourselves and we are called to reach out to someone who is different? Someone who may have dirty hands, or torn clothes, or smells of booze? Are we more like Christ when we are asked to tuck in our own child at bed tonight, or when we are pushed beyond our comfort level to tuck in a child at night that is not ours and may not even appreciate our hug goodnight?
And when? When do we make this leap of faith? When do we accept the calling that God has for us? When we have it all together? Right after we finish having children? After the house is sold? When we graduate? As soon as we pay off our debt? Let me say – there will never be the perfect time! God’s time is the perfect time. Listen to what He is telling you. Ask Him to clue you in. He promises that if we sincerely ask, we will receive, if we seek, we shall find, if we knock, the door will be opened (Luke 11:9).
And then we have to trust and obey. We have to remember that if He brings you to it, He will bring you through it. God does not fail. I am reminded of the story of the apostles being persecuted for performing miracles and preaching about Jesus. They are brought before the Sanhedrin to explain why they continue to preach about Jesus when they have been forbidden to do so. As the Pharisees are discussing the situation amongst themselves, one Pharisee very astutely reminds them all that if the apostles actions are of men, they will eventually fail, but if they are truly from God, then they will never fail.
But if it is from God, you will not be able to stop these men; you will only find yourselves fighting against God. — Acts 5:39
I never want to fight against God. I have opened myself up to God’s perfect plans, instead of my own. I have asked God to use me in whatever way He has planned. I want to be His hands and feet in this world. I want to love as He loves. He has faithfully shown me the path to these five children. I would never have put myself here, but as I look back over all the years I see the pattern emerging. I can begin to connect the dots.
Does this mean that it’s easy? NO! Does it mean that I am always at peace with His plans for my family? Absolutely not! Does it mean we have it all figured out, nice and neat, with a ten-year plan? I wish! But I am comforted with the fact that Jesus himself pleaded with His Father at Gethsemane before His terrible suffering on the cross, “Father – if there is any other way!” (Matthew 26:39) God is big enough to handle my doubts, my questions, my fears. He tells me to cast my anxieties on Him (1 Peter 5:7). And that is what I am learning to do.
I often find myself repeating, sometimes several times a day, “God, I am trusting You when I remember Your promise that You work all things for the good of those who love you.” So as I break up yet another fight over who gets control of the mega nerf gun I again pray this prayer, “God, make this work for the good of all these boys here. Turn this fighting into something that will benefit them all in the end. May these grumblings work to bring about an eternal knowledge of selflessness, sharing, unconditional love of others – agape.”
I remind myself that, IF WE LET HIM, He can take all things and work them for good. He doesn’t need us to be perfect. He doesn’t want us when we have it all together. He wants us now. He wants us to ask, to be willing, to participate. He wants us to start moving so that he can push us along a little more, a little further. He wants us to love as an action. As James tells us in the Bible, faith without deeds is dead. Love as a verb. Agape.
I went into this adoption with the mindset that I was rescuing these little ones for God’s kingdom, but the truth is, they are rescuing me. Rescuing me from my own selfishness, my own desires, my own pursuit of happiness and turning my heart towards His Kingdom, His desires, His righteousness.
And so to answer, “How do you do it?”
The answer would be,
“I don’t. God does.”
It is truly only through His love that has been poured into my heart, through the power of the Holy Spirit, that I am able to pour that love back into the lives of His children. (Romans 5:5).
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and he will make your paths straight. — Proverbs 3:5
Not me, but Him…
“The Gospel demands a great deal of us. It calls us to a perennially unpopular and unselfish path. Little wonder Jesus said, ‘The world’s going to hate you’ (John 15:18-19). When you can no longer play the game of judging, labeling, and punishing others, you will quickly become the outsider.” Fr. Richard Rohr
Jesus was an outsider. If we choose to follow Him into the next year and for the rest of our lives here on Earth, we also choose to be an outsider. It means we forever give up, as Rohr says, “judging, labeling, and punishing others.”
There is no such thing as blessed intimidation, sacred condemnation, honorable hate, justified segregation or redemptive violence.
When we speak or act in unloving ways, we step away from God, separating ourselves from the love and grace He has given us – and continues to give – from our birth. We must remember He gives, not because we have done or refrained from doing anything to earn His love; God gives because He is Love.
Dear friends, I am not writing a new commandment for you; rather it is an old one you have had from the very beginning. This old commandment—to love one another—is the same message you heard before. We must love each other because love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born from God and knows God. (1 John 2:7, 4:7)
In four days, a brand new year will be upon us. We all have a choice to make. Will we continue to travel the same, well-plod, self-centered road that is parallel to our walk with Jesus, or will we surrender control of our own egos? Will we let go of unforgiveness, anger and condemnation and allow the Spirit of God to lead our lives into a transformational rebirth?